November marks my fifth year as a certified life coach. Sigh.  

So many emotions. So many judgements of myself. Five years!?! Wtf. What do I have to show for it? Definitely not a ton of money. Not a long list of clients or social media fans. Not even a thriving coaching practice. So, what the hell have I been doing all this time!?!

I've been learning. 

Although I haven’t been very visible online in the past year (having all but abandoned my poor blog), I’ve been very active in evolving the way I show up in the world. I’ve always wanted to come at this coaching thing from a place of experience and mastery. Never a fan of the idea that “you only have to be two steps ahead of someone to lead” and never with a desire to “monetize” everything I know in order to pad my pockets. 

That doesn’t mean other coaches are wrong for focusing on money-making, but I want something different. I HAVE something different to offer. And so…my journey looks different. I’m content to walk my own path while celebrating others who are shining in the spotlight. I’m in this thing for the long haul, so I’m happy to be here, working on my Self, deepening my spiritual journey, experiencing new cultures and traditions, defining (and pushing past) my limits, meeting new people, trying things that don’t work, and learning some of my most important and most painful life lessons. This feels good to me. It feels like growth, like mastery. 

Truth is, as a coach, I’ve only been scratching the surface my capabilities. Focusing on basic concepts like goal setting and motivation, because it was easy. I hadn’t being doing deep work with clients, because I hadn’t done that work myself. Until now. 

Today, I’m entering the final leg of this journey. Not at all “finished”, but approaching an important starting point, a new way of being, a depth of understanding, an awareness of what it all means (or understanding of our limited capacity to know for sure).

Today (Aug 19th), I’m going on retreat. Taking the journey deeper inwards, going to all the places inside that I’ve avoided before. I’ve been exploring in those terrains for the past year, doing the work. Sitting with some truly revolutionary thinkers, not to consume up their wisdom, but to question it. To challenge their ideas and my own. To investigate possibilities and emerge with a better understanding, clearer values, stronger beliefs. So this 30 day retreat is a culmination of sorts.

When I emerge, I’ll be ready to talk. About compassion, empathy and radical ways of expressing love. I’ll be taking about how we relate to ourselves and how that dictates the way we relate to one another. How to BE in relationship - as lovers, as friends, as sisters, as daughters, as teachers and as members of our larger communities. And I’ll be talking about me - my journeys, ideas, stories - completely exposed, leaving no stone unturned. Because if you’re gonna listen to what I have to say, you should know where it’s coming from.

When I come back, this will all look very different. I’ve sorta fallen out of love with “coaching” - not the work, but the title. The assumptions that come with it. The muck that exists in the industry. The limitations. So, maybe I’ll call it something else. Or maybe I won’t call it anything at all. Maybe...I’ll just show up, and do the work.

Til then, I’m going off into the woods. 30 days of deep inner work on my Self, then on a different journey (to Mexico!) for 30 days of intense focus on my work. In the meantime, I’ll be writing. A lot. And occasionally sharing through email and on Instagram (where the seeds have already been planted).

If you wanna read updates from my retreat journey, from my trip to Mexico or to see what I create when I return, leave your email address below or follow me on Instagram.

With love and immense gratitude (seriously, if you're even seeing this, I'm amazed and grateful!)


A (not so short) Note Before I Go...